“Be grateful for your triggers, they point where you are not free” – Dolores Cannon

Triggers can be an absolute b**ch. There’s no sugar coating this one. They are uncomfortable, can be life changing, and can reveal a truth either about yourself or another person in your life you were not aware of. Mostly, they shine a big blinding light to an area of your life that needs compassionate awareness. 

Once you’ve figured out what the heck is going on after you’ve been triggered, guaranteed there’s going to be a lot of healing required. You may have lashed out at someone, you may have had an emotional breakdown (before the breakthrough), you may have ended a relationship/friendship because of it, you may have seen parts of yourself you really really dislike. As Dolores says, it will show you where you are not free. 

Whenever I’ve been triggered it’s shown me the unhealed parts of myself. It’s shown me where once I may have behaved a certain way to protect myself because of something from my past, it now no longer serves me and suddenly, someone else’s finger pointing becomes unacceptable. I now know my worth. It’s highlighted a value I didn’t have in place, that without someone ”pushing my buttons”, was not in my conscious awareness, was not fully activated, and that person just tried to cross a boundary that showed me is now there. It’s highlighted parts of my ego/personality that I truly truly dislike and now am ready to let go of. 

The biggest gifts I received from the last times I have been triggered:

*People saying all the right words but not backing it up – this was also in me (what we see in others is often in ourselves): say what you mean and mean what you say.

*People saying they’re speakers of truth but were really using words to wound others to make themselves feel better – this was not in me but it showed me that: my words need to be a truth, not my opinion. Being authentic. 

*I was accused of being inauthentic. This was true. I was deceiving myself and tolerating things that went against my values, or saying one thing but feeling another, but I wasn’t speaking up. It’s ok was coming out of my mouth, but it wasn’t ok: I learned what my values are and began honouring them. 

*I found the wounded vulnerable parts of myself I’d shared with a person wasn’t as sacred to them as it was to me – by way of having my words thrown back at me in a nasty way: Know and trust yourself well so you know who you can trust and share your vulnerabilities with.

*It showed I trusted more in others than in myself by baring my soul to them, asking them “what should I do?” because I had lost the art of listening to and trusting in my own inner wisdom. They knew more than me right? See above for the result this one: Understanding that my past hurts left me feeling like I’m not enough, forgiving myself for the times I gave my power away, again, and work on healing. Becoming my own secure and safe place within. Learning to trust my own voice!

*I learned that grief takes a really really long and winding road, which can carry its own wounds, all while intertwining with living life! It takes as long as it takes. We can be easily triggered when grief is raw. I gift myself compassion and kindness, I will not try to “fix” myself as I’m not broken, just wounded and hurting, so I lovingly hold myself while I navigate my way through the grief. 

These are just some of the things I’ve learned from being triggered. Is it uncomfortable? Yes! It’s also really empowering, freeing and enlightening. And it’s a part of life when you choose to grow and heal. Now when I’m triggered, I take a breath before I act out, check in with myself first. If I need to speak out then I do. If I recognise a part of me that needs my attention, I give it willingly and lovingly. Because on the other side of it all, the healing can be AWESOME! 

🤍please note – this is not relevant for severe or complex trauma or severe PTSD triggers. This is in relation to every day triggers – not trauma related. Complex trauma triggers need great care and support🤍