I’ve had a few people in my life say “I am a truth teller” or, “I am gifted with speaking the truth” or, “I say it like it is” or, “I’m an empath I just know things and speak the truth”…
Any version of this was met with a big bombshell, hurtful words, words they believed I needed to hear, a decision I should make based on the truth they believed was mine or, a way of thinking I didn’t know I had but they saw as my truth. Literally anything that they believed they had the right to tell me whether it hurt me or not, because you know, they’re speakers of truth. And I believed them! I believed they knew more about me than me and they were smarter and better than me because of the way they delivered that “truth” and my then limited self worth.
Some of these people were under the guise of “spiritual healers”, some were “friends”, nearly all were people who said they loved and cared for me. All of these peoples words and actions caused me immeasurable hurt. They also gifted me invaluable lessons.
None of those people are in my life any more.
Why? It’s not because I’m precious and can’t handle any truth when I hear it. It’s because I finally learned about healthy boundaries. Self worth. And. Learned to hear my own voice the loudest.
Oftentimes people will truth slay you because it makes them feel important. It makes them feel powerful. They’re under a false belief that they know better than you and, maybe you believe them because you haven’t healed from your trauma. They like/need to be the dominant or “wiser” person in the room. Sometimes they genuinely believe they have a gift and therefore need to share their knowledge with everyone else, no matter the consequence.
Full disclosure, I’ve done it too in some form or another! I remember when I started to tap into my energy healing and started to see things and receive messages, I just “had to” share my knowledge whether you wanted to hear it or not! Apologies to all who suffered through my early days of “I just leaned blah blah and have to share it with you”. Soon after I realised it’s not my place to force my beliefs or insights of what I believe or think I know on anyone!!! Anyway….live and learn!
One day I met the person who would become my mentor. He genuinely could read a person, he genuinely could see your truth, he genuinely had a spiritual gift to see into you and all of you. And he never slayed me with cruel words. He never uttered the words I’m a truth teller that’s my gift. He quietly and lovingly held a space so I could eventually be able to see my own truth. Even if he could see I needed a kick up the bum, his way was to ask questions – for myself – and by his questioning, I learned the skills I lacked for inner reflection and self ownership etc to see my way to truth. The only time he ever spoke up about anything was if he felt I was in danger of being harmed.
There’s a difference between a truth teller and speaking from wisdom, with kindness and for empowerment. Be cautious when you hear words directed your way from the person under the guise of truth teller. Are they telling you their truth? Are they telling you words from a place of superiority? Are they speaking these words to protect you and build you up? Or are they speaking these words to appear all wise and powerful, to keep you looking to them for all your answers while diminishing your light. There’s a difference between speaking truth with love to protect someone, and speaking truth without love to disarm someone and keep them powerless.
Speaking from personal experience, I gave my power away to people like this in my life for a long time. It came from a place of low self worth and a wounded place of past trauma. The last person who sat across from me and looked me in the eye and said I’m a truth teller, was the last person to ever say it to me and have me believe them over me. I sought help, I went within, I dug super deep and unearthed all of my own treasures and found that I had a well of wisdom and truth of my own. And.
I could trust it.
I could trust me.
I finally heard my voice the loudest.