How we all doing? 

I thought I’d share my inner musings with you because maybe your brain works the same way as mine. 

How often do you pause before you speak? How many times have you stood outside yourself and watched as you spoke immediately whatever it was you thought and then shrink back inside yourself because – nooooooo I didn’t want to say that!!!! 

There’s my hand going up hahaaa! And for me it’s always more than a couple of reasons. One is I’m in my head not my heart. And that goes for both the recipient of my words and me speaking it. Others are anxiety. Overwhelm. Discomfort. Energetic boundaries. Crossed boundaries. Wounded conversation. So many things right? 

First thing I do is pour a bucket of kindness over my head when I’ve had my oh shit I didn’t want to say that moment. Next is a whole lot of whatever I need. I observe if someone has seemed triggered by my words – I take a look at myself and check in. Was I speaking for them or for me? We are all responsible for our own responses – and actions. 

I look at why I feel what I’m feeling. Did I speak or act from an old pattern of anxiety and not enoughness? Was I overwhelmed and just had a case of the old verbal diarrhoea to ease my discomfort? Did I feel uncomfortable with people I thought I should be comfortable with and overcompensate? Did I overshare because I have an open heart and forgot not everyone is my true friend? 

And another thing I did recently …. Well we all know I’m a talker for a living right, I’m a counsellor and energy therapist and sometimes? I forget my loved ones just wanna offload and not be therapised AND I forget – as one of my beautiful friends reminded me just recently – that I don’t always know what I think I know especially when I run from my head not my heart. 

Another friend gave me priceless advice when I was feeling overwhelmed and upset and a little lost about my often conversational discomfort. She said, ask the question – do you want me to just listen, give advice or do something? And I want to add in here – or just comfort with a hug.

So many things right? And I’ve felt and still sometimes feel and do alllll the above. We’re human and forget these things at times. 

This is a loving reminder to just breathe. Yes take a look at yourself if you need to. Give yourself a hug and don’t hang on to shame or annoyance if you’ve done any of the above. As Maya Angelou says, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” 

And please know there are layers to this quote. We can have awareness of who and where we are in any moment. Recognise an oh shit moment. And through our woundedness we just might do it again. Healing is in layers. So is knowing better and doing better. 

Be kind to yourself. You really are doing the best you can with what you know at the time. And that really is enough 🤍


You’ve just spoken up. You’ve spoken a truth for you. You’ve shared your feelings with honesty and integrity. You’ve shared from your heart. It was maybe a bit scary and equally freeing, and you did it. If you spoke that with someone else, maybe it gave them permission to do the same. Growth can look like this. 

Something you’ve been focused on has been set free. A weight has been lifted and you feel like you can breathe. Growth can feel like this. 

So why then, some time after, do you feel like crap. Growth can sometimes feel like this too. That voice in your head when you see the other person struggle with what you just shared? The voice that starts saying I shouldn’t have, I wish I had stayed quiet now, I could have should have would have …..

That voice is coming from a well of old beliefs and pain. The one that told you for years that you’re not enough or that you’re less than, or the one that never knew a healthy boundary or what healthy love looks like. 

When you speak from a place of love and worthiness, you’re creating new boundaries and reinforcing that new place of I am enough. Doubt will creep in. The should have would haves will creep in. Growth. 

Take a breath. Hands on heart. I am enough. I am worthy of speaking my truth. I hear others truth as well. I balance the two in my seat of worthiness. Breathe. Bring love in. Hold on to the space of bravery and knowing of your worth. 

Be easy on you. Sometimes you will rise and fall in one moment. 

Growth, is a dance, not a light switch.